Dear Heidi,

I wrote you a poem last night. I hope you like it. My only regret is having to use “Heidinkles” to make a rhyme work.

Love,

your older and more wrinkly sister

 To my sister Heidi on her birthday:

You are my most pregnant sister

of all the sisters I’ve had

your belly houses a little Bun

which makes us the opposite of sad.

In Alaska you teach Pilates

flamenco and ballet as well

your friends all think you’re a ‘hottie’–

your dancer’s bod is quite swell.

If you keep making pregnancy look cute

we’re all bound to follow in suit,

so please look ugly for your two sisters’ sake

(though that’s actually impossible,

make no mistake).

I’ll be there for you through the years

and all the aging they will wreak

so if getting older ever brings you to tears,

I’ll look worse so that you can look chic!

You are now a year older, ‘Heidinkles’

but are still very free from any wrinkles

so eat a piece of cake

(but no whiskey with your steak)

and you’ll make it through the winter with twinkles.