Tag Archives: food

My date with fate

About a month ago, my husband and I spent the weekend with his family, and since he went over yonder a day before me, I was left with a Thursday night all to myself.

A night to myself! Immediately, I thought of all the bad and decadent things I could do with no supervision: drink a smoothie! Try to get some appealing photographs of the smoothie! (harder than you may think) Upload my smoothie pictures to the Mac and play with them in Photoshop! Eat a big bowl of popcorn—in bed! Watch an inspirational episode of The Biggest Loser online! Fiddle with my hair to see if I want to cut it! Dig into the recesses of my closet and try on a bajillion different and new outfit combinations! Toss the reject outfits onto the futon and make a huge messy pile!!!!! I was practically hyperventilating with enthusiasm.

And then I thought—but I do these things when my husband’s around anyway.

And then I thought—but I’m going to do them all in one evening! I was riding a wave of excitement, and nothing was going to stop me. Nothing except … but I’m getting ahead of myself.

At this point I should explain that since last winter, I’ve had this imaginary story playing in my head about a lonely Chicago career girl who goes home every night to a dark apartment and gets Chinese takeout on her way back from work. When she calls in her order she just has to say “Hi, it’s me. The usual please. I’ll be by in 15,” because they know her that well. She’s a melancholy figure who reads romance novels on the El, wears a ponytail every day, and falls asleep with the TV on for company. She may or may not have an overweight cat named “Diddlykins” who eats out of her bowl and relentlessly sheds fur all over her couch. You get the idea. Thursday night, I decided to briefly align my life with that of my imaginary friend, so as I left the office at 5pm I called in my order for some serious Chinese takeout. I wanted variety as well as decadence, so I recklessly ordered 3 different things, reasoning that the leftovers would keep us going for months, if not years. I picked up the Chinese on my way home. I felt soooo big city. “Going home to Diddlykins for another lonesome evening“, I thought, delighted at my little game of pretend. Little did I know, it was going to be a Date with Fate.

Since I’m a big delayed-gratification girl (and have been pretty much since the day I was conceived—it’s like a sickness), I exercised and showered while my boxes of takeout waited. I was building anticipation. I packed for my trip, set my alarm for the next day, washed the dishes that were hanging out in the sink–the more I made myself wait, the more exponentially delicious it was going to be, I just knew it. Finally, after about an hour and a half, it was time: I opened the boxes. Strangely, all 3 were the exact same shade of dark, goopy brown. Hmmm, I thought. They’re cleverly disguising the delicious flavors by making them all look like they were made from the same mysterious sauce. How brilliantly cunning.

Not!

It was bad. Oh, it was bad.

I can’t talk about it anymore or I’ll start weeping. I’m especially mourning for my poor fantasy career-girl—because she has to eat this stuff every night, man. What will happen to her digestive system!? What kind of a monster have I created!?!???

I’ve been working through the letdown from this epic event in my life, and according to Freud I’m supposed to do something called “sublimate”? Which I think means turning your energies into something positive? So I’m sublimating the disappointment, depression, and despair caused by those 3 identical brown sauces and making my own stirfry. Hear me, oh Chinese takeout disenchantment: you’re not the boss of me! I am moving on with my life.

Thank you for listening to my inspiring story. I’m currently accepting bookings for my national speaking tour on the transformation I’ve undergone, and my calendar is filling up fast. It’s called:

HOW CHINESE TAKEOUT CHANGED MY LIFE

(How one gloopity-gloppity bite revolutionized the emotional path of one Chicago woman, and how it can revolutionize yours too!!)

I only charge 1 million dollars per hour. I mean, per minute.

But first—tomorrow there will be a recipe. A Chinese stirfry recipe. And it will be good. Here is a a little preview to whet your appetite:

 

Spinach Blue Cheese Pasta

The platform for this recipe is PW’s Pasta with Tomato Blue-Cheese Sauce. I’ve made versions of it many times since she posted it in April, and it’s kind of morphed into something different, with spinach featuring as a main ingredient, a blend of spices I adore, and some dry sherry. Guys, if you like blue cheese, this is a MUST. The photo does not do it justice–trust me and make it immediately. In fact, I’m going to go ahead and apologize for the photography since this was one of the 1st recipes I took pictures of while cooking. Ignore the weird color balance and just believe me when I say that this is the crowning jewel of pasta recipes in my book. The only chopping involved is the garlic, so it creates minimal dishes (always a perk).

Ingredients

(2 servings)

1 TBS olive oil

6 cloves garlic

1-14.5 oz. can diced tomatoes

1 tsp brown sugar

1/4 tsp salt

1/4 tsp black pepper

1/2 tsp granulated toasted onion

1/8 tsp white pepper

1/4 c dry sherry (or red wine)

1/3 c crumbled blue cheese

1/3 c heavy cream

1/2 bag (4.5 oz.) spinach

1/2 lb cooked pasta, to serve

Optional and evil: garlic croutons, for sprinkling on top

If you start boiling your water first of all, the spinach sauce should be done right before you have to drain the pasta.

Heat olive oil in a non-stick pan over medium-high heat. Add your garlic, and fry about 1 minute, until fragrant.

Add the whole can of tomatoes, juice and all. Turn the heat up to high and add your sugar, salt, peppers, and toasted onion granules (if you don’t have this, you could try substituting a mix of dried onion and onion powder … or onion salt, and cut the 1/4 tsp salt).

Cook for 10 minutes, stirring frequently–the liquid should all but evaporate. Once the liquid is almost all gone, add your sherry (you can turn off the flame temporarily for safety). Let it simmer over medium-high heat for a minute or two.

Reduce the heat to medium-low, and add your blue cheese.

See how the liquid was pretty much gone?

Stir until melted. Add the cream, and stir to incorporate.

 If you taste it at this point, it will seem a little overseasoned, but once the spinach goes in everything will make sense. Turn the heat down a little further and add the spinach. It will look like way too much, but don’t worry–it cooks down fast.

Stir as it wilts. . .

. . . and take it off the heat after about 1-2 minutes. Hopefully your pasta is about done by now:

Fresh pasta! There’s nothin’ like it.

So serve it on up! Unhealthy but delicious idea: once I sprinkled garlicky croutons on top. The crunch with the wilted spinach and al dente pasta was divine.

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