Tag Archives: church

Adoption and gigging

Good morning, my lovely friends!

So . . . adoption. Foster care.

It’s something that’s on my heart.

No, I’m not ready to adopt at this exact moment. But it’s something that’s mulling around there in my brain and in my soul.

I have a strong empathetic vein running through my heart–I’ve always cried easily when I see the distress of others. When I was growing up, for example, all I had to do was see one picture of an orphan in a Compassion International advertisement and I was brought to tears. As a pre-teen and teenager, I also fell in love with fictional orphans such as Anne of Green Gables, Emily of New Moon, and Jane Eyre, which (odd as it may seem) made me start really desiring to take care of the motherless and fatherless. When I was 15, I determined that I wanted to run an orphanage when I grew up. Then I realized there wasn’t exactly a college degree called “Orphanage Manager,” so I ended up applying for the music program instead.

So even though my dreams of caring for orphans haven’t exactly materialized in my life, recently those thoughts have come back. I’ve been stalking some Chicago adoption websites and reading up on how to become a foster parent. My friend Sarah told me about a program in Austin, Texas that involves local photographers taking portraits of the kids that are up for adoption, so I contacted the organization that runs a similar program in Chicago–I would love to volunteer my lens, if there’s an opportunity. And of course, I’ve been thinking about logistics–how exactly would this all happen? Would we wait until we had children of our own? Would we wait until my husband finished school? Would we wait until I was able to stop working and stay home?

I’m not on the edge of the adoption/foster care diving board, but I’m at least feeling the rungs of the ladder leading to the top, testing out their sturdiness, and pondering the height of the thing, if you’ll allow the metaphor. To climb it? Or not? I want to pray actively about my future, and my role in this world full of kids who don’t have parents or homes, who may be going to bed scared, hungry, or in real danger.

I’m grateful for the empathy that I feel, and I pray that God will never allow callouses to grow over my heart, but I also know that feelings are not enough. What good is empathy unless it takes action? That’s why I’m really excited about an event here in Chicago this coming Saturday called “Together for Adoption.” It takes place from 9 to 2:30, and it’s not too late to register if you’re in town! The event description says: “Join Dr. Russell Moore (author of “Adopted for Life”),  Jason Kovacs (co-founder of Together for Adoption), and a half-dozen presenters for a unique one-day event on regional and global orphan care.  Our hope is that you’ll leave with a deepened sense of God’s adopting love for you, as well as an increased love and desire to care for the orphan and the fatherless.”

I wonder about adoption. Is it a case of ‘the need is not the call’ or is that my heart presenting excuses to not do what Jesus commands when he tells us to take care of the orphan and the widow? Is it enough just to give money–or am I called to something more radical? I need the Spirit to shed some light on this. And to give us direction. The thought of foster care and adoption inspires me–and scares me to death. I know there are no guarantees, no easy paths. It can bring great joy, but also strain and stress. I have a lot of thinking to do. A lot of praying.

Anyway! My band, Thornfield, will be playing at the adoption conference during lunch. And once the conference is over, we’re hiking our butts over to CityGrounds where we have a gig. The talented Andrew Jackson, a local singer songwriter (no, not the long-dead ex-president, just to quell any zombie rumors) will be playing the first set at 8pm, followed by our band around 9pm. Come on out! We’d love the encouragement of your presence there! Here’s the facebook event page for y’all’s reference.

So Saturday will be full of music, and (hopefully) hearts open to God’s leading.

What are your thoughts on adoption and care for orphans? Or your experiences? I’d truly love to hear from you.

When women come together

As you all know, this past weekend I was on our church’s women’s retreat. We arrived Friday evening, had an intensive Saturday studying Haggai, and left Sunday morning in time to get back to church in the city.

The location was a beach resort about 90 minutes outside of Chicago, almost right on the Illinois/Wisconsin line, and next to chilly and beautiful lake Michigan. I loved looking out the window and seeing no buildings in sight. Just the lake, some trees, the sky.

During the free time Saturday afternoon, I sat in a sunny spot in the lobby area of the hotel, armed with a Bible, a journal, and a guitar. I started writing a new song, I meditated. I talked and cried with my friend Carrie, and ended up with racoon-like mascara circles shadowing my eyes. I love a friend that I can cry with.

We took a walk on the beach and she tried to teach me how to skip stones.

Carrie’s tehnique was smooth, effective, and photogenic.

I, on the other hand . . .

. . . failed.

I think I’ll leave all sport-like endeavors to her after this.

What to say about this weekend? I feel like God was speaking to me quietly. Not with flashes of insight, zapping across my mental sky, illuminating everything with a jolt–but instead, with small rays, glowing briefly, that shone into the corners of my life, pointing to this, or that. And these little lessons came from the stories of other women.

Through Shandra’s testimony Saturday morning, I was reminded to pray, pray, pray. About everything, with anyone and everyone, and at any time. Through Traci’s insight into motherhood, I heard the same voice saying: pray without ceasing. I want days spent in constant, sweet dialogue with God. I put this into practice Friday, when Carrie, Shandra, Sarah and I were setting up the sound system and getting ready to lead the worship music that evening; the sound system started malfunctioning. As soon as all of us were singing, Carrie’s mic and guitar and my mic would cut out. We checked connections, changed the guitar cable–but to no avail. We had no idea how to resolve this, so we prayed. “Lord, you know we’re here to worship you. We’re not sure how to fix this problem, but we ask you to take care of it so that there are no distractions during this weekend that might draw our attention away from praising you.” We had no further technical difficulties.

From Colleen, who was our speaker for the weekend, I was reminded that our purpose on earth is to build a temple for God. Not a physical structure, but one made of living stones. Out of people–we are the living stones. We are God’s temple, and that is our life’s work. I had to ask myself–am I giving over all aspects of my life to this purpose? Am I actively giving over my job, my marriage, my blogging, my creativity, as tools for God to use?

From Haggai, though this man lived over 2,000 years ago, I was reminded that when I live life for myself, I’m investing in a purse with holes. Haggai 7:5-6 says: “Give careful thought to your ways. You have planted much, but have harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it.” If my goal in life is my own happiness, my own prosperity, my own comfort, my own house, and I conserve what I have to build my own little corner of the world, not only will the return be smaller than what I may hope for, but it will be wasted. From an eternal perpsective, I gain nothing: I’m throwing my resources into something fleeting. A purse with holes. It’s when I invest in God and his calling to love and serve people that my return is multiplied. When I invest my ‘riches’ in this world into God and people, when I give generously of my money and time and energy and self–then the return is richer than I could have imagined.

From Hannah, I was reminded that we either live by fear or by faith. That when we have the faith to surrender to God and live according to his plan, he blesses us in ways we couldn’t have imagined. That moment of releasing our plans and praying the prayer that never fails–“Thy will be done”–it’s scary. But so worth it.

From Jessica, I was reminded how important it is to be vulnerable, to be real with other women–and especially with my sisters in Christ, who are my family. The vulnerability and openness of one woman can be enough to create a safe place for others to share–but someone has to take that first step.

There were plenty of lighthearted moments–we laughed, talked, watched “Flight of the Concords,” drank glasses of wine in our PJ’s, ate chocolate and pretzels from a huge assortment of snack food, and had a shortlived campfire–but my favorite times were the moments of learning, of listening, of feeling the wisdom of other women sink into the ground of my heart and take root.