Category Archives: Musings

I call him Crandyhamme

Since I have never stated my husband’s real name on this blog, I thought that today I would at least share his plethora of nicknames with y’all. They have morphed and multiplied over our 10 years together, and there are more than I could count. This is possibly due to the fact that when I’m feeling particulary affectionate, I speak in gibberish. In fact, just the other night I exclaimed in a transport of cuddliness “I’m going to schmandy* your bott**!!!”

*Schmandy = not even I claim to know what this means–but I like to keep the possibilities open

**Bott = body + butt

Anyway, on to the nicknames. Here’s what we got!

-Babes / Baby / Babycakes / Babzerillo

-Sweet thang / sweeterino / the sweet the sweet

-Lovebug

-Kiddo / Kidderino

-Honey bunches / Honey bunches of oats

-Sweetie pie / Sweetie-Bar-Pie

-Lovecakes

-Cutie patootie

-Little Guy — a term of endearment in no way connected to his height, taken from this Strongbad cartoon

-Crandyhamme / Crandyhammey / Crandy / Crandyapple

Here’s the story: we were moving from Delaware to Chicago and packing up boxes. All boxes were labeled according to their contents: BDR for bedroon, LVR for living room, BTHR for bathroom, etc. However, the particular box I was working on contained so much random stuff that I decided to label it ‘random.’ Based on my brand of silliness, ‘random’ became ‘crandom’ which then became ‘crandyhamme.’ I emblazoned this on the side of the box. At some indeterminate point and for some strange reason that even I can’t explain, I started calling my husband ‘crandyhamme’ after the box. ‘Crandyapple’ and ‘crandyhammey’ are then just obvious permutations. Don’t you agree?

-Shmanty / Schmantypants (also a nickname for my sisters)

-Spanky / spankypants (ditto on the above)

-Man hands

-Hot Stuff — ’cause it’s true. Especially when he’s doing dishes.

Or making cookies.

Or shaving. Or doing push-ups. Or even just sitting on the couch. Actually, now that I really think about it, he’s pretty dang hot at all times. See, normally . . . I don’t think. I just attack.

-Handsome / cransom

-Bestbottom / Bumgenius — These are the most recent additions to the list, debuting about about a month ago when my sister was talking about cloth diaper brands. In my defense, Crandyhamme started it by calling me ‘bumgenius’ one evening. I quickly responded in kind. And you know how they say ‘much truth is said in jest’? Well, these nicknames really reflect how I feel about him. I mean, can I help it if I think his bottom is actually the Best Bottom? Or that his Bum is a Thing of Genius??

Stay tuned Monday for some pictures of the Man of Many Names from our deep past that you will not want to miss. *snort snort*

Have a great weekend everyone!

The garden of Dr. Evil

Aunt Jacquie’s house is wonderful, unique, thoughtfully decorated. We’ve already talked about her elegant but unloungeworthy living room, and we will be doing a tour of the secret staircase and castle wonderland that is the attic, but today I wanted to revel with y’all in her garden.

Here’s the front of the house with its lush green grass and hosts of plants.

The front of the yard has this marvellous old tree . . .

. . . where aunt Jacquie has thoughtfully installed a little door for the gnomes to go in and out. This will go a long way in improving the crumbling state of human/gnome relations, I’m sure.

But that’s just the beginning of the garden dynasty she is building–let’s go around to the back of the house:

The patio area is brand new, and was the perfect setting for a grilling post, manned by Martin for approximately 12 hours straight.

I dub thee Martin of the Grilled Bacon.

The patio area is also perfect for toenail painting (and the refurbishing of waning pedicures):

And adult conversation under the shade of the umbrella.

Do you remember that time (in your early days on this planet) when adult conversation was a mystery? Why would anyone just want to sit around and talk all day? I would ask myself. Surely there were more interesting things to do–like making paperdolls. Or going swimming. Or jumping over towels. Or pretending that the grass is a pit of quicksand, and you have walk along its edge in perfect balance and not set a single toe on it–or else you’ll fall in and be swallowed whole.

As you can see, the patio is not the end of the back yard.

There is an expanse of open space in which any children at hand can completely exhaust themselves running around.

Go Snugs go!

The adults can also migrate to the shade under the tree and continue their boring conversational endeavors.

While the kids were blowing bubbles, my cousin Eleanor and her friend Summer chatted away on some blankets.

I don’t have any landscaping skills or any reason to do landscaping, being ferreted away in an apartment building far away from things called ‘yards’ or ‘lawns,’ but if I did have some such yard or lawn, I would certainly find inspiration in what aunt Jacquie has done with the place.

Hmmm–that was a convoluted way of saying ‘way to go aunt Jacquie!’

She has some mad skillz.

Yes, I just said ‘skillz’–and I’m not taking it back. Nope.

Let’s venture around to the side of the house, where there is another patio area nestled in.

June and aunt Jacquie did me the courtesy of posing. I think I’ll call this area the ‘breakfast nook.’ Or maybe the ‘afternoon tea nook.’ Or maybe the ‘movie star nook.’

Yes, June is looking like a movie star.

Something about those sun glasses screams ‘glamour!’ to me.

And the flowers . . . oh the flowers. Is there anything more photogenic in the world?

I mean, besides movie star June?

So I’m curious–who out there has yards? And how much design have you put into them? And do you mow your lawn with great joy or with great gloom? Or do you just hire the neighbor boy to do it?