Author Archives: Jenna

Centennial

Centennial is two things: first, a novel written by James Michener which I haven’t read. Second, a TV miniseries from the 70s based on James Michener’s novel which I have now watched. It’s no small feat–6 discs with 2 extensive episodes on each. It’s about 26 hours long, total. Yes, this show consumed over 1 day of my life. Just look at that illustrious line-up of VHS tapes–that’s a whole shelf on your bookcase right there. My husband had watched this series as a little boy at his grandma’s house and wanted to revisit it, so we slapped ‘er in our Netflix queue, and we were hooked.

It’s my favorite kind of thing to watch: something that goes on and on . . . and on and on. I invest enough in characters, emotionally speaking, that I don’t want their stories to be over after 90 minutes. I want more! And more! And more! That explains my ertswhile addiction to the show “Alias”–it just kept going. So what if the plot was sometimes ridiculous–so what if people kept (presumably) dying and then showing up later in the show–so what if the writers were desperate for a twist in the plot and resorted to something approaching a zombocalypse–I had come to know and love the characters, and no amount of general silliness in the writing could keep me away.

My husband loves this show because it’s all about the history of this country as it plays out in the lives of specific characters. The miniseries covers the founding of a fictitious town on the plains of Colorado called “Centennial,” starting in the late 18th century and going all the way into the 1970s.  At first I was resistant to the whole show because the picture quality just looked like 70s film. There’s something about the colors, kind of washed out and brownish. But once I got over that, I realized the acting was superb, the characters intricate and well-developed, and the story sweeping.

Only a few negative things–since it was aired on TV, there are little “flashbacks” to previous episodes that can be a little lengthy and I think are just redundant. However, the little “fast forward” button on our remote fixed that with no problems. My only other hang-up is how quickly the 20th century flies by. The weight of the show is in the 19th century, and I think they cover the entire 20th century in the final two episodes (or was it 3?), in what felt like a mad rush to get to the end.

I do have to say that I actually left the room once when we were watching the episode with the Indian massacre (5th or 6th episode?), not because it was too graphic (it’s not), but because it was emotionally too difficult. The show does a great job of portraying the different prejudices that Americans engaged in over time, and the violence with which those prejudices frequently played out. And it’s not always pretty! I guess that’s history for you. Also, the show represents its characters as individuals as opposed to stand-ins for a whole people group, so there are good and bad settlers, good and bad Native Americans, good and bad cowboys, with plenty of grey areas in between. Oh, the grey areas. How true to life and confusing they are.

The show (consciously or not) really draws out the theme of American manhood, examining the spirit of entrepreneurship in both honest and dishonest characters, the seemingly necessary disregard ‘real men’ had for the law in the American West, and the desire many of these men had to leave their families and strike out on their own, fighting to subdue nature in order to forge not only a home for themselves, but also their own character and selfhood.

Let’s sum it up: it’s engaging. The acting is good. You learn a ton. So next time you’re bored out of your mind with romantic comedies (um, like that would ever happen), pick this baby up and pop ‘er in.

How to fake smile

I thought you’d all be pleased to know that I’ve been working on my fake smile.

My journey all began when I realized that in every picture of me smiling for the past 27 years (my whole life), my eyes are both squinty and asymmetrical. My cheeks are stretched out, wrinkles are forming every which where, and it can be quite . . . funny lookin’. This started when I was young, and thought that smiling was supposed to be a grotesque face contortion:

I blame the untimely appearance of my sister Erica. I had everything under control, and she just had to come along and pull the rug out from under me. I was queen! Me, me, me! And then suddenly it was all about this squalling tiny thing with no hair. No wonder I favored a bleak grimace.

I recently decided it was high time in my life to create a fake smile–one that all happened on the lips, leaving the eyes relaxed and as open as possible. I wanted people to realize that there are actually eyes in there, not just slivers of shadow. I wanted to improve my photographic track-record.

After her untimely disruption of my world 25 years ago, Erica recently redeemed herself by helping me practice my smiling skills at a little cafe in Boulder Junction during Family Vacay 2010. When she understood the great wisdom of what I was endeavoring to achieve, she whipped out her camera and photographed my first attempts.

If you are seeking to work on your own fake smile, here is a set of instructions to help you on your way.

First:

Observe your real smile. Identify the points of change.

My points of change: less wrinkles all around. More eyes. Less like the Grinch and more like Halle Berry.

Now that you’ve identified the areas of opportunity, stretch the face. It’s important to limber up your skin before you try anything at all. This will help avoid training injuries.

This part can get pretty frightening for onlookers, so most of you may want to do this with only a few trusted loved ones present. And most of you may choose not to photograph the occasion, since this is blackmail in the workings.

Once your facial muscles are feeling warm and relaxed, make your first attempt.

Get some feedback immediately. My sister quickly pointed out that it was a disaster and it was even worse than my real smile.  “We’re going for symmetrical eyes! Symmetrical!” she coached, wondering if I would ever get it. Time for take #2. It may help to look at something truly amusing to put the right vibe into your attempt. Thankfully, we had this nearby poster to help matters out.

Quick, while you’re mildly amused, plaster the “fakey” on your lips.

Ta-daa!

Great, isn’t it? I think I more than doubled the exposed surface area of my eyeballs! I think I reduced the Grinch wrinkles by at least 50%, what do you think?

A little blank and expressionless for a smile, you say? A little lifeless?? Well no one asked your opinion anyway!

You know . . . maybe it is a little flat. A little stiff. Where’s the sincerity? Where’s the joy? I may need a follow-up lesson to work out the kinks, Erica. Maybe you could drive on up here, eh? Because folks, Erica has completely mastered the relaxed smile that also radiates energy. Just look at her wedding pictures here, or the shots of her on the dock here for proof. My issues may be rooted in my all-or-nothing personality; I can’t smile partially. It’s either the full wrinkly smile experience, or it’s a flat lifeless mask. Why can’t I learn to do an awesome halvsies smile? And why can’t I look exactly like Halle Berry? Why??

And on that cliffhanger, I am signing out. I may choose to do a follow-up post charting my progress up the learning curve–but I may not. This blog is all about the suspense.

Thanks all for joining me today. Erica is available and on-call for fake smile training sessions. It’s a deal, she only charges $50,000 plus hidden fees and extra charges.

Since I was her first client, I got away with purchasing our coffees. Or did she purchase them? It’s hard to recall.