Monthly Archives: December 2013

Feeling sentimental for music times past

It’s been about a year and a half since my band Thornfield released its first CD and EP . . .

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. . . and a year and a half since my bandmates whisked themselves away to North Carolina.

How time flies.

Around Christmas, I get a little sentimental. The snow is falling, the coffee is hot, and while loving this new chapter being a mama to a wee one with the softest head of blond fuzz you can imagine, I also miss the previous chapter.

In which I was, perhaps for the first time, really spreading my musical wings.

I miss making music with my friends. I miss having a reason to write new songs.

I could probably find occasion to despair of this never happening again in my life if it weren’t for the promise of heaven, where we will have a Thornfield reunion. I demand it. That will last . . . let’s say 100 years for starts.

When eternity spreads before you, why not?

On that note, I realized that I should probably be a good ex-bandmate and remind you all that you can, indeed, purchase our music.

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Even though we don’t gig together in real time any more, the recording industry has allowed us to share our music in . . . fake time.

If you haven’t listened to us, you can buy real hard-copy CD’s or just download songs from iTunes. Or amazon. Looking for a Christmas gift for someone? Try us.

Heh heh.

Back to the coffee . . . and to a darling baby who is just waking up from her first nap.

No-Shopping December

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My mind was turning during November . . . contemplating how much of my thought life is caught up in consuming.

I used to think it was a shameful thing that I liked shopping.

Okay, this was back in the day when I thought it was embarrassing to admit that I liked a boy, secretly liked pink but dressed in black instead, and thought I had to cover my derriere with oversized clothing because I didn’t know what the heck was up with this “being a girl” and “having a butt” thing.

Now, I can unashamedly say: I enjoy shopping.

(And I’m not disturbed by having a butt either–I’ve really matured that way. Yep.)

And there’s nothing wrong with that.

(The butt or the shopping.)

But there comes a point when it (the shopping) takes up too much brain power. Too much emotion. Too much thought-time.

Whether I’m shopping for myself, shopping for Alice or my husband, buying Christmas presents (which I finished buying in October–my favorite way to reduce stress during the actual holidays), shopping for our home, for something that would make hosting easier, for a baby shower or pregnant friend–there’s a lot of shopping that can potentially happen.

And one day in mid-November I realized it was consuming too much of me. It was becoming . . . dare I say . . . an idol. Something that gave me good feelings, something that (for example) I did on a certain day I was super stressed in order to deal.

Instead of turning to the strength of God, I turned to shopping.

Ugh! Can you believe I even said that?

Hmm . . . I can.

Anyway.

I don’t want to be the person who does emotional shopping, or who thinks about physical goods so much of the time. And especially now that we’re immersed in the holiday season, I also don’t want to be the person who misses the real celebration of Christ’s birth because she’s all caught up in materialism. So I decided–from what I think was a prompting of the Spirit–to abstain from shopping during the month of December. Of course I’ll buy groceries and associated things (shampoo, dishwasher soap, and the like)–but that’s it. I’ve started a fast to create more space in my heart to celebrate God. Christ’s birth. Family–both our physical and spiritual family. My marriage. My beautiful, growing daughter.

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It’s not about the money–I’m not worried about that (and what a reason to be thankful!). It’s about my heart, my brain, my state of mind. My freedom. And I’m learning that to live freely there is a big amount of self control that comes in to play. And my self control is in need of a nice, month-long workout.

And because saying “I won’t do this” is only half the issue, instead, I want to turn December into a month of giving and actually do something to take the place of what I’m giving up. It might be baking cookies for someone. Finding a way to serve those in need. I’ll give up something superficial in order to be able to give something more profound. Maybe this can be a thing every December–I’m already looking forward to engaging Alice in this project when she’s old enough. We’ll see. For now, here’s to a month of joyful giving rather than selfish consuming.

I still love ThredUP and will return there sometime in 2014. I don’t think shopping is the devil–I will probably always enjoy it. But, at the risk of sounding extreme, I do think it can be a tool of evil in our hearts. So I’m looking forward to this exercise. It will be a good stretch for the soul.

Love you guys!