How far along: 36 weeks completed 9/11/2012. Just under a month until my due date!

Weight gain: Well, I’ve been holding my 147 lb mark for about a month, so who knows what’s to come in the final 4 weeks–maybe a huge spike? I’m trying to eat regularly and healthily and prepare myself for anything. I’ll have some cold hard numbers to share next week after my appointment.

Clothes: I am THRILLED with this cool weather which has enabled me to break out the snuggly cardigans! Leggings are also about to become my friends again instead of the harbingers of sweaty-thigh-and-crotch syndrome. And sleeping with the windows open–I love it.

Purchases: More bins. I’m obsessed with bins. Bins for diapers . . . bins for wipes . . . bins for stuffed animals . . . bins bins bins bins bins!

Bins make me feel good.

Body: Interestingly, I’m not feeling as large and heavy as last week. In fact, multiple times this week I’ve tried to walk between a wall and a chair thinking I could squeeze through, but my belly has gotten in the way and prevented the maneuver. And each time, this has been a surprise. So I guess I’m forgetting that my belly has some serious dimension to it.

I also thought late last week that I might have made the leap into the waddling stage, but it turns out it was just this one pair of flip flops that made me walk kinda funny. With those flip flops removed from the equation, I was back to walking normally again, and quite relieved that I wouldn’t be stuck in slow waddle mode for a month.

And I can’t believe that I can still tuck Alice mostly away.

And there are no stretch marks yet to be seen (I’m holding my breath on that one, that’s for sure).

Sleep: I’m definitely not sleeping like a rock like I used to. But it’s not miserable either. So there you have it.

Best moment(s) of the week: My husband was at Cedar Point (a big amusement park in Ohio) riding roller coasters on Saturday. He’s been every year since he was . . . 12 years old, I think? Anyway, it’s his family’s thing, and this was his last pre-baby trip. But ever since he came back, he’s been dreaming aloud about how great it will be to bring our kids there. It comes up quite often, and he gets this excited look and says “won’t it be great when Alice goes to Cedar Point for the first time?” It’s adorable. I’m not even a big amusement park person, and I’m already getting excited about experiencing his joy in sharing this with Alice (and any other future lil’ ones) down the road.

Originally I had thought that the annual trek to Cedar Point would be an ideal time for mommy (me) to stay behind and get a couple days of alone time, girlfriend time, and shopping time. But now . . . I’m reconsidering. We’ll see how it all shakes down in the years to come.

Movement: She squirms around quite a bit in her (wonderful) head-down position, and does her big leg stretch all the time, when the bump of her bottom on the left side of my belly and the feet sticking out on the right side make my stomach go from round to a bizarre oblong shape. It’s kind of hilarious, always endearing, and sometimes a little uncomfortable. That tiny thing has some strength in those little legs!

Food cravings/aversions: Monday was my first day off cow dairy products. And guys . . . it’s a challenge. I’ll think “Mmmm, what do I want for a snack? Oooh, a bagel with cream cheese!”

Nope–can’t do the cream cheese.

“A bagel with butter!”

Nope, no butter.

No more Mexican pastries from Devon Market, which may have been baked with butter. No bowl of rice slathered in butter. No yogurt for breakfast. And I’m adjusting to drinking black coffee (I tried adding almond milk and it just didn’t cut it as a creamer substitute). In fact, I may just give up my morning coffee in favor of some Raspberry Leaf tea (which is supposed to be good for the female system and help my uterus be awesomely strong and ready for labor . . . or something).

Anyway, at least this whole dairy thing is short term, and it’s definitely giving me insight into the struggles of people with dietary restrictions. (I felt for you guys before, but now I really feel for you guys!)

Symptoms: Getting tired easily . . . back pain if I do too much bending . . . sleep is okay but not the stellar I’ve-just-been-knocked-out experience of yore . . .

You know, overall, I feel good. I’ve been blessed by such an easy pregnancy.

Emotions: It’s dawning on me more than ever that the end of an era is approaching. We’re no longer just a couple, but a family. And the territory we’re entering, though it’s been walked by billions of people before us, feels totally uncharted. I’d be lying if I said this doesn’t make my heart race faster, and my knees feel weak.

I know there are going to be joys we can’t imagine, but my mind tends to focus more on the  snares we can’t anticipate, can’t prepare for, can’t foresee. Temptations, pitfalls, all that–I feel like I’m going to have to learn how to walk all over again, in a sense. Learn how to live in a totally new way.

But I’m reminding myself that I don’t have to focus on the fear of the unknown. Because while it’s unknown to me, it’s not unknown to God, and he will be walking beside me and ahead of me guiding me through each part of my life’s path. I don’t have to worry, because God will never call me to suck it up and figure it out on my own. He’s got it figured out, and he’s the great Teacher.

Hopes and dreams: Right now I’m just hoping that, by God’s strength and grace, I will be a good wife throughout this whole thing. I don’t want to neglect my husband at any point, no matter how tired or Alice-focused I am at the beginning. I hope and pray that my husband will never have occasion to think that he’s dropped in my heart’s priority list. I want to cherish him, be sensitive to his needs, listen to him, and never put a “pause” button on being his best friend and companion.

Will I be strong and loving enough to do this?

Well . . . no. But with God, in faith I say “yes.”

What I miss: The energy that used to carry me through the day. Like, I used to get home from work, clean the house, exercise, and then cook a meal–sometimes an elaborate meal! Sometimes with multiple courses involved. (!?) Now I get home from work, and if I do cook, I’m using all my self-control to push through the experience, because I really don’t want to be doing anything but resting. Don’t even talk to me about working out and cleaning in the same day. Uh-uh.

What I’m looking forward to: There’s a certain tiny red Christmas cardigan. Alice should be fitting it right around the holidays . . .

Husband update: Seeing his excitement about the future is so encouraging to me. Happiness is contagious!

Have a great weekend, my friends! Pictures of the progress in Alice’s room next week!