Monthly Archives: July 2011

Sisters on the Magnificent Mile

I love this girl.

She always calls me when she’s shopping. I’ll be at work, or chilling out on the couch, and the phone will ring. “Hey! I’m in the dressing room at Target,” she’ll announce.

“So I’m trying to decide between two shirts. There’s this blue one . . . it’s kind of a sky blue with a little ruffle around the bottom. But I’m just worried that the ruffle is hitting me at the wrong spot. You know what I’m talking about? But the neckline is so pretty.”

“Tell me about the other shirt,” I’ll interject.

And then it’s my duty as the older sister in residence to help her come to a decision. Which really means that I say: “Man . . . I don’t know . . . you know what? I think you should just get both. You can always return one if you decide that you hate it once you get home.”

My solution is always to get both.

And that’s why I should not be allowed to shop frequently.

Though I love talking to Erica as she graces the distant Kentucky dressing rooms of Target or Victoria’s Secret and browses through Land’s End’s bathing suit selection, what I really love is shopping with her in person. We don’t have to tread on eggshells when trying to communicate to each other that a particular item isn’t very flattering. “The color looks like puke,” Erica may say. There’s no hemming and hawing with “well, um, maybe, like, that color . . . I don’t know . . . I mean, whaddyou think?” This makes for Greater Shopping Efficiency.

This particular trip on a sunny Tuesday afternoon involved a coffee break at Starbucks, where coffee was promptly spilled.

The store was completely out of napkins, so dishrags were brought forth.

My coffee was too bitter and Erica’s too sweet, so we paused at a convenient ledge and mixed the two.

“I’ll take pictures and you mix,” I suggested (this was a convenient way to ensure that any further spillage–and the resulting sticky hands–would not befall me).

That’s more like it.

During our meanderings, we stopped in a certain shoe store. In my experience, retail establishments aren’t too keen on customers taking pictures inside the store, but the urge welling up within me to snap some shots was simply irresistible. Thankfully, there are so many tourists out and about on the Magnificent Mile that the camera hanging from my shoulder didn’t raise any alarms or gain any special scrutiny from the staff. Feeling like a spy in some kind of thriller, I used my super-secret method to take pictures: with the camera hanging from my shoulder, I aimed from the hip and simply started pressing the shutter release button.

It was wildly entertaining.

Of course, the sheer brilliance of my super-spy technique caused me to go into fits of giggles.

I probably laugh more–and harder–with my sisters than with anyone else on earth.

Come back soon, Erica!

Lonesome Jake and Pretty Kitty

Part of the reason I was so excited to go to AJ6BP was to see my grandparents, Mama Kitty and Big Jake.

You may remember Mama Kitty from the infamous Christmas card series I posted this past December.

If you haven’t seen those Christmas cards, please take a moment and look at them now. Then join me in asking this important question: is it even legal for a woman of her age to look that good in lingerie?

She rocks those high heeled white boots in a way that I could simply never do. Because though her genes have been passed along to 3 daughters and 7 female grandchildren, there is simply no one like her.

To keep her connected to the increasingly digital family news, my Mom helps her navigate the internet. Here she is checking out my cousin Charles and his wife Rachel’s first baby:

(and there’s aunt Jacquie’s notorious living room furniture in the background of the shot)

Her daughters have inherited her elegance, her taste in clothing, her bright smile and good looks, and her knack for pulling off wild jewelry and a great hat.

Case in point: aunt Jacquie’s amazing earrings. I think those are parrots, to the tune of 2 per ear.

Sadly, though I love big earrings from time to time, somehow I ended up with a large head that just looks bizarre in most hats. Why, Darwin? You’d think that the more hat-worthy heads would, by natural selection, triumph in this fashion-obsessed world.

But moving on to Big Jake!

Big Jake? But my name is Gandalf.

I fight the evil dominion of Sauron on a daily basis.

I also enjoy a good mixed drink!

You want some?

If you think Big Jake’s (I mean Gandalf’s) hair and beard are slightly out of control, you ain’t seen nothin,’ my friend. See, at one point many years ago, he vowed never to trim his hair again and thus take his unruly mane to the grave. A few years into this promise, he was looking either like a bohemian French artiste . . . or a homeless man.

(Note: this didn’t last until the grave, because a certain doctor made the decision to tame his unmanageable locks during a certain surgery.)

In fact, one of my clearest memories of my sister Heidi’s wedding a year and a half ago involves a very straggly-haired Big Jake. I was one of the bridesmaids, and we were all dressed and ready for the ceremony. The wedding was starting in 20-30 minutes, and we girls were taking some final pictures of Heidi in the hall outside the sanctuary while the guys helped Mike prepare his soul. Or whatever it is guys do right before a wedding. I heard footsteps; I turned around. “Oh my gosh!” I thought, with a sharp intake of breath. “There’s a homeless man coming towards us! We’re just a bunch of defenseless girls wielding bouquets! I need to alert someone!

And then I did a double take and realized it was my own grandfather, who moments later was pressing a couple hundred dollar bills into my hand. See, he’d heard I had an interest in photography and was determined to help fund the purchase of a camera.

A few months later, I bought my Nikon on craigslist. A few months after that, I started this blog. And more than a year after that, here we are, with posts fueled by pictures regularly taken with that very camera. So I guess you could call him one of the patrons saints of this blog. Or, I mean, patron wizards.

Now that I think about it, most of my memories of Big Jake involve him pressing either money or alcohol into my hands. And railing on me for not wearing high heels, to the cries of “If you got it, flaunt it!”

I love you guys, Mama Kitty and Big Jake! There is no one like you, and never will be.