How far along: 34 weeks completed 08/28/2012.
Weight gain: Not sure, but I’ll know next week at my appointment whether or not I gained back those 2 lbs I lost. We shall see! With the Devon Market bakery right next to our new apartment, I’m thinking the pounds should pile on no problemo. My breakfasts for the past week included a Mexican doughnut, a pastry filled with some kind of pineapple curd, and two giant butter rum muffins peppered with tiny chocolate chips.
It’s all part of the ‘exploring the neighborhood’ experience . . . right?
Clothes: We’ve been unpacking all our clothes, some of which I had boxed up a long long time ago when I discovered I couldn’t fit them with my preggo belly. Rediscovering them has been fun, because I’ll be wearing them all again soon! Maybe not in exactly 6 weeks, but hopefully . . . shortly after that?
Purchases: I bought DVD’s of Anne of Green Gables and the sequel. I figured I want a nice stash of chick flicks to watch during my Hibernation time when Alice is first born, and these childhood movies are going to fit the bill perfectly. They’ve been sitting in my amazon.com cart for about 5 years (no kidding), so I finally ordered them and will save them for those long afternoons when (I’m told) it will seem like all I do is feed my baby girl.
Body: I’ve been feeling heavy in my belly for the first time. I’ve felt heavy overall before, especially going up long stairways (that happened pretty early on in pregnancy), but something this week has felt different. I hate to use the cliche of a bowling ball . . . but it really does feel like there’s a big, heavy sphere in my stomach, especially by the evening.
Alice should be weighing around 4 lbs now, and though she feels heavy I can still kind of tuck her away somewhere in the recesses of my absurdly long torso.
And after musing last week about how I need to stop lifting things, I’ve continued to struggle with this . . . and have lifted things anyway, even though my body has been telling me it doesn’t feel right anymore. I find it distressing that I don’t have more self-control. I’ve been valuing my physical independence over my physical well-being (and possibly Alice’s). Why can’t I just stop?? Why do I find it so hard to ask someone else to do things for me (someone else = my husband)?? Argh. I didn’t realize what a high value I put on my independence until now. It’s given me all new respect for people who are disabled long-term, and find a way to live fully and joyfully within their limitations.
Accepting limitations is hard, man.
Sleep: I seem to be needing a lot more of it all of a sudden. Sunday, for example, we got home from church, lunch and goings-on around 3:30pm. I was feeling beat, beat, beat, so I lay down on the couch and napped. And it was no cat-nap–I’m talking two hours of sleep, from 4-6pm. I woke up feeling much better, but wondered if this hefty nap would interfere with my 10:30 bedtime.
Well . . . it didn’t. I slept like a rock.
Best moment(s) of the week: I know I can’t shut up about this, but feeling my roly poly little girl rollying and pollying inside is just indescribably wonderful. Giving her a poke and feeling her kick back . . . well, indescribably = I can’t describe it. ‘Nuff said.
Movement: She’s startled me a couple times with the strength of her punches, but most of her movements seem to be rolls and squirms.
One night, Adam was kind of jiggling the spot where her head/butt/lumpy part was pushing out, and she pushed back! He did this four or five times, with Alice pushing back when he stopped. It was the most precious father/daughter conversation I’ve witnessed.
Food cravings/aversions: Nothing to report.
Symptoms: Like I mentioned, I need more sleep! I’m feeling more fatigued after regular days at work that didn’t used to exhaust me so much. I’m glad this extra tiredness hit after the move and not too much before! Though it does slow down the setting-up-house process a bit . . .
Emotions: I’ve been feeling great! Eager to be fully moved in, but also enjoying the process of getting furniture in the right place and moving things into drawers and so forth.
My job has felt harder than usual, but not because there’s more work–quite the opposite! As I put more and more into the hands of my (very competent) temp, I have more time just sitting around with nothing to do. Which is boring. And makes me antsy and stir-crazy. But this is a good problem! It means when my maternity leave starts, I will no longer be holding onto any reins at the office, and I can sever myself fully for 3 months.
Hopes and dreams: I’m thinking a lot about giving birth. A few of my friends who have given birth recently have had rough experiences, which is a wake-up call to me. Things might not go according to the pretty plan in my head, in which I labor at home until contractions are 1 minute long and 3 minutes apart (for at least an hour), proceed to the hospital where I have a fully natural birth that is painful but manageable and brings me and my husband closer together, and within 6-7 hours of arriving at the hospital have a healthy baby girl who immediately goes onto my chest (where of course she latches on to breastfeed within the first hour or so).
So I’m trying to let go of expectations . . . not put pressure on myself or deceive myself into thinking that I am fully in control of what happens (I’m not!) . . . and ultimately, trust God. He created my body, and the little girl inside me. He not only knows exactly what’s going to happen in about 6 weeks, but also is sovereign over everything. And he uses everything for good. So I have nothing to fret about.
What I miss: Physical independence, baby. And energy!
What I’m looking forward to: Um . . . physical independence and energy? Baby?
Husband update: He’s been encouraging me to respect my body’s limitations and let him do things for me. He’s challenged me to prioritize my health (and Alice’s health) by exerting self control and deciding not to move that box, or not to bend over to pick up a pile of books. And also, he’s been unfailingly patient when I’ve failed to act wisely.
In short, a better companion has never been seen.
Have a good weekend everybody! And if you’re in the U.S. (and have a nice employer), enjoy your Labor Day off!
