How far along: 22 Weeks, completed 6.5.2012
Weight gain: The usual response–we’ll see at my next appointment. Merci pour votre patience.
Clothes: Ever since marking my stomach with deep divets in an attempt to wear my skinny black corduroys, I’ve stayed away from regular pants and indulged in skirts, maternity jeans, and dresses with leggings. I might try to give my skinny jeans one last hurrah . . . but those divets, man. They were deep.
Purchases: Nothing new–just working on my baby registry on target.com. And speaking of the registry, I had no idea how much thought and time this was going to require. I’ve spent hours . . . and hours . . . and hours . . . scratching my head over high chairs, debating over diapers, befuddled about bassinets . . . and I’m feeling mightily uncertain about some of my selections. Especially in terms of strollers. The world of strollers is confusing, intimidating, and I’m convinced that no matter how much research I do, I’ll probably choose exactly the wrong thing. If any of you have in-depth registry experience and want to see what I have going on and offer your invaluable advice on what I’m forgetting or what I shouldn’t even have in there in the first place, it would be much appreciated (and that really isn’t a plug for every person possible to buy me a gift . . . or is it??).
Body: Changes are afoot. I mentioned last week that my abs suddenly started not responding in their usual, helpful way. That continues. Whoever thought that rolling over in bed would be a challenge? Or going from prone to upright on the couch in order to answer the phone? It’s redeeeeklus, is what it is.
Stairs have also started becoming undesirable. I’m not exactly sure why–I’m only carrying around an extra 6 lbs or so max (the little one being about 1 of those 6 pounds), but it feels like I’m lugging a medium-sized, awkwardly-shaped appliance up each step. We made our first baby-induced decision not to run up the El station stairs to catch a train when we heard it approaching on the tracks. There was just no way. I used to be the girl that sprinted when she heard the rumble on the tracks . . . now I’m the girl who looks dolefully upward at the heights to be climbed . . . and sighs.
Sleep: Can I tell you how much I love my body pillow? Each night has become a blissful haven now that I’ve relinquished my independence from this long, fluffy sleeping crutch.
Best moment(s) of the week: Feeling our little girl move around–it always brings me a rush of happiness. And more on that right here:
Movement: Our little girl is on the move! And the feeling is now 100% unmistakeable, in case I haven’t made that clear yet. There’s no chance it’s indigestion or digestion–it’s the flips and kicks of a little person (though I can’t yet tell flip from kick, foot from hand, or any of that level of detail).
While I’m having my coffee in the morning she usually wakes up and gives me a few thumps. There’s no way the caffeine could reach her that quickly, so I wonder if it’s the hot cup on my belly that does the trick. She’ll move about a few times during the day, and then almost always kicks the strongest when I lie on my back at night. It’s wild, and I absolutely love it–I had no idea that feeling the movement would be such a beautiful experience. It’s comforting (because I know she’s alive and well), inspiring (because it reminds me she’s there! I still forget sometimes), and makes me feel so connected to her, loving, protective–the works. If this is any indication, I have a feeling that the emotions of motherhood are going to be more powerful than I could have dreamed.
Food cravings/aversions: Sushi, sushi, sushi. In particular, a big ole spicy salmon roll. With fatty, delicious chunks of buttery salmon (isn’t raw salmon kind of buttery?), encased in spicy sauce, rice and seaweed, with a bright green spot of wasabi to wake up the sinuses with its mustardy blast.
Symptoms: Feeling heavy and awkward when I try to move, I guess. And I know that will only get more intense as the weeks progress.
Though on a side note, want to see a cool trick?
Here’s the belly in relaxation mode, in all its bellyness . . .
Now wait for it . . .
I was also sick Thursday (throwing up real chunks of food–which is more than I can say I experienced even during the height of morning sickness). It was only my stomach that was off–no fever, headache, throat pains, or anything else–so it seemed to point to food poisoning. Except that I ate the exact same thing that everyone else had, and nobody else went down for the count like I did. So my other theory is that our little girl was having a growth spurt and my body was freaking out. At this point, we’ll never know.
Emotions: A little emotional about my body not working exactly the same way it always has–but I worked through my crankiness and now I feel much more at peace about it.
Other than that, I’ve just been feeling overwhelmed by life this week. Stretched thin, I guess. And the thing is–I’m not really. I just feel that way (and I hate it when my emotions refuse to match up with reality–it just makes me even more emotional). What with plugging ahead with work on our first album (we’re in the vortex of mixing and tweaking, which right now seems like a neverending process), church stuff, social stuff, photography stuff, and all the other stuff of life, looking at my calendar these days just makes me cry. It’s so silly, because I’m excited about all the stuff on the calendar. No single day will be too much. But when I allow myself to look at the whole and try to grasp everything that has to be done in the next two months, the surge of emotion just takes over and all I want to do it sit in a corner and weep.
I need perspective! Could someone bring some over, please?
And while you’re at it, you might as well pick me up a spicy salmon roll.
Hopes and dreams: I’m dreaming about Christmas again, since my parents have now finished building their house. Seeing the pictures of the beautiful finished space on facebook launched me into daydreams of evenings by the fire, morning espressos brewed by Dad, brisk snowy walks along the peaceful streets, long talks with Mom in the sun room, an afternoon of creativity up in the studio . . . aaaaah. My sisters and their spouses both plan on being there as well, so it will be a family reunion like none other, with two brand-spankin’ new babies to pass around (Heidi’s 2nd little boy, due in September, and my little girl), cooing and crying and being snuggled by all.
What I miss: Bounding up the stairs to the train with leaping legs and an unencumbered stomach.
And, at the moment, feeling that I can handle my life, and that I’m the calm and collected Queen of my Calendar instead of a sweaty, tired lackey.
Though I know Jesus certainly wasn’t Queen of his Calendar–he was all about the servanthood thing, following the agenda of his Father, and humbly attending to the needs of others. So it seems like there may be a big spiritual lesson in what feels like a hot mess.
I love it when there’s a spiritual lesson inside the hot mess. It makes the hot mess so much more bearable.
What I’m looking forward to: Every new week seems to bring changes, so I can’t wait to see what I’m feeling and experiencing next week! Especially in terms of movement and our little one’s patterns of waking and sleeping in her watery playground.
Husband update: Not much to report–other than his infinite patience with my overflowing emotions.
Oh yeah, and that he was sicker than I’ve ever seen him over the weekend.
But he’s better now!
On that note, have a great weekend everyone. I will be back next week, hopefully with my flag flying high instead of damply sagging.