Boys! Boobs! Other scary stuff too!

I’m having a girl.

WAIT!

HOW AM I GOING TO EXPLAIN ABOUT HER PERIOD? WILL SHE FLEE IN HORROR WHEN I TRY TO TELL HER HOW TO CORRECTLY USE A TAMPON?

WHAT AM I GOING TO SAY DURING THE INFAMOUS SEX TALK?

HOW WILL I EXPLAIN ABOUT BOOBS AND BOYS AND BRAS?

And I’ll be darned if I never learned how to make a French braid.

Okay . . . deep breath.

Maybe I’ll wait until she’s a least born before allowing myself to dwell on these things any further. Or maybe I’ll even wait until she’s sitting up straight! Or hey . . . scooching around. In fact, maybe I’ll hang tight until her little rosebud mouth issues its first firm “Ba!”

Then I’ll revisit these all-important questions.

Maybe by then I’ll have gained a little perspective and they won’t be scrolling through my brain in all-caps, scaring the living daylights out of me.

6 thoughts on “Boys! Boobs! Other scary stuff too!

  1. joanne

    I actually think you’ll be the best person to explain all these things to a little girl because you’ll do so with such matter-of-fact hilarity. I might just send my future daughters to you for “the talk(s)” as well.

    Reply
  2. Kate

    How exciting! I was right! I know how these things take over your mind! Mine was Santa Claus. My niece had just heard from older cousins about Santa and came to her Mom, hitting her and yelling “You lied to me.” This was something I felt I REALLY needed to work out before the baby was born. I always answer my kids honestly but no more than asked “Daddy gives a seed and mommy gives an egg” but the nitty gritty facts were explained at special dinner at 8th birthday where they would learn about “the most beautiful act.” You’re going to be an amazing Mama!

    Reply
  3. Veronica

    LOL, you are cracking me up! Don’t sweat it, they’re born as helpless infants for a reason–so while they’re growing into adults, we can grow into parents. :) The whole not understanding speech and not being able to walk thing really helps as a first step to parenting, or so I imagine. You will do GREAT! :)

    Reply
  4. Eve

    Since Caleb is born, Joshie is curious about how baby comes from. So my geeky husband decided to explain him in the biological way. Here goes daddy has sperm and mommy has egg and 23 chromosomes from each of them…..etc. then one day while I sat in the car with Joshie, I heard him made a little song by himself,…something about sperm and egg……..;D!! Jenna enjoy your life as parent-to-be!!!:)

    Reply
  5. Julia Menn

    You could always just never even broach any of those subjects with her and let her figure it out for herself. That’s what my parents did. 😛

    Reply
  6. Tonya

    I have missed sooo much in my absense from the blog reading I used to get done each day! Congrats, Jenna! You will love being a mommy of a little girl. A beautiful special bond occurs from first sight. Don’t sweat the small stuff, just meet questions with honest, age appropriate answers using correct terms when the time arises. But first, just let her take your breath away with her sweetness.
    Hugs, T

    Reply

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