I dun et that thar bebby's toes

Once upon a time, my sister Heidi and I went out for a girl date to the Barnes and Noble in Fairbanks. They serve Starbucks coffee which I have grown to love very, very mucho. I ordered my usual Pike Place Roast with a shot of caramel and room for cream, and Heidi and I both got the best sugar cookie I’ve ever tasted.

A certain tiny man was with us. He had a very fuzzy little head.

Do you want to hang with your Auntie Jenna? The one with the slightly manic eyes and the greasy hair severely in need of a shower?

Hey, your head smells pretty good . . .

Up popped a foot.

I examined the foot.

My eyes got slightly crossed looking at those tiny toes.

I took the foot in hand.

Well this looks like a tasty treat.

I think I’ll just give it one little smooch . . .

But a little kiss wasn’t enough. No sirree.

I think I’ll just . . .

And I’ll just . . .

And I’ll . . .

I hope you realize how comfortable I feel with y’all here–I wouldn’t go sharing that picture up there with just anyone.

Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. I had to cover those drugged-looking eyes.

Oops! Now that I’ve started, I can’t seem to stop. Alert Alert: do not try this at home. Smoking is very bad for babies–and for you! Also, moustaches on babies are very scary.

Let’s check in with the small one.

How’s it goin’, kid? Are you scarred by this experience?

Are you appalled by the feet-eating tendencies of your deranged Auntie?

In the end, he fortunately seemed no worse for the wear.

Now . . . how do you think those cheeks would taste?

25 thoughts on “I dun et that thar bebby's toes

  1. Joanne

    If god didn’t intend for us to nibble on babies’ feet, then he wouldn’t make them so scrumptious looking! that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

    Baby James is just…the cutest thing ever. You guys totally got my endorphins flowing this morning.

  2. TheKitchenWitch

    True story: I was shopping with baby Miss M. at the supermarket and she was in her car seat in the little compartment of the cart. Her feet were so small and delicious, that as I shopped, I would stop to nibble and nuzzle those yummy toes. I wasn’t even thinking about it, but then I saw some man in the store looking at me in utter horror and disgust. I think I scarred him for life.

  3. con tinta violeta

    Guapiiiiiiiiiisimo el muchachito!!! No me extraña tu actitud, realmente está para comerselo, así que ¿porque no empezar por el pie? Buen (y divertido) reportaje.
    El lema de la camiseta del bebé también, ja!

  4. NanaBread (Jeanne)

    I love that he’s so peaceful about the entire process. Almost as if this wasn’t the first time someone had nibbled his toes, perhaps? What a sweet, fuzzy little cutie-patootie; completely and utterly yummy. Thanks for sharing the photos!

    1. giselle

      Seriously, that is one extremely adorable baby. Some babies you just say are cute b/c you have to, but this one? He’s for real super cute. I could look at his photos all day, he’s just so cute!!!

  5. Kimby

    I’m SO thankful that you feel comfortable sharing, Jenna — I started laughing so hard (WITH you, not AT you), that I’m sure the neighbors must wonder…

    THANK YOU for bringing the joy of baby James and Aunt Jenna into my life. 🙂

    1. Jenna

      Oh good! If I made someone laugh, then it was all worth it. Even though not a single one of those pictures is what you could call ‘flattering.’ =)

  6. vesselina

    silly girl!!! Every single one of these pix is beautiful. Although the one where you are kissing his head brings tears of joy to my eyes. You will be such an amazing mother someday and I love you. Blessings to baby James, Heidi and Mike!


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