Feeling medeom: pages from my weird little 6-year-old brain

Good morning everyone!

Today I’d like to jump into one of the funniest books on the shelf: my 6-year-old journal (sorry Terry Pratchett–your status has been demoted to 2nd funniest author in the house).

I alluded to the nature of my entries in this post, when I shared a fantastic little poem written about my younger sister Erica:

“Erica is stupid, Erica I hate/Erica is nothing but a little bit of bait.”

And if that doesn’t sum up our relationship as children in a wonderfully concise and precise way, I don’t know what does.

In my defense, we got off to a rocky start when (years prior) she wore this adorable little bear suit–I guess I couldn’t stand living in the shadow of all that cuteness.

I think it’s fascinating to get this unedited insight into a child’s brain–my brain–my obsession with lists (of names, of books, of songs, etc.), my strong emotional love/hate language, my focus on how I felt each day, my need to make an entry every single day that filled exactly one page (on desperate days, this space could be filled with anything from a big heart with a list of animals inside, to a list of songs, to the lyrics of whatever we were singing in church at the time).

One of the things that always strikes me is that for at least a year, I felt compelled to share a one-sentence summary of my feelings at the end of almost every entry. The choices were (apparently) three:

“I feel good”

“I feel bad”

“I feel medeom”

Medeom. Heh heh. Hunh hunh. Someone didn’t know how to spell.

I’d be writing about something completely random, like how much I hated my parents, and suddenly end with “I feel good.” It makes no sense unless you see this pattern of strict self-evaluation played through the entire journal. Because at the end of the day, it was all about how I felt. Yeah. And it . . . um . . . still is? Yeah.

I was a little hedonist. And I (maybe, perhaps, who knows) still am a little hedonist.

What can I say in my defense? Is it a crime to have fun? Is it wrong to want to feel good? Is it??

Anyway, for your reading pleasure I am inserting some pages from this journal. I will translate them below (with the original spelling) in case you have trouble interpreting my somewhat unskilled penmanship–I was in the throes of first grade and I didn’t have time to shape all my letters with utmost care. The pages I picked are right before our move from Indianapolis, Indiana to Madrid, Spain. Mom, Dad, Erica, Heidi–I hope you are not too shocked at my sometimes violent feelings of love and hate towards all y’all.

(Page 1)

Today is  Friday Jan. 10, no Jan. 11, 1990. Heidi is the littlelest is so very very very very very cute. I prably said but just is case I am moveing to Spain. I am not exited. but I heard that they are cleanig the place. Hear is my hole clas first, School #84 1990 5 girls 10 boys, Girls Jenna Leslie Kimmy Emily Sarah, boys David Ben Allen Brian Cory Alex Rob Ryan O Mrs Detzler But 10 Boys, Jonathan John

(Page 2)

Today is Saturday Jan. 12 1990. Specal Books, Anne of Green Gabeles, Black Butey, Shakespeare, Tales from the Arabian nithts, those are good books & A Littel prinsess, I love that book. I want my own room When we are in Spain. Dad is a softy Mom is a hardy! I fell Good.

(Page 1)

Today is Friday, Feb. 9, 1990. Friday is the favorite day in the world for me. Erica is gon like always. When I was in kindergarten I thought I was so great just beacouse I was in shool. Also when I was in kindergarten I saw a note it said, Jennifer no Jenna go to the Jahn’s house there family is, Mr. & Mrs. Janh Tim Amy & Rachel

I hate mom today

I feel medeom.

(Page 2)

Today is Sat. Feb. 10, 1990. I hate mom today. today Jennifer came ovor to my house. I found out that Mrs. Stumt nows the Lord. it was enberessing. I may have menchend this But When we go to Spain I want my own room with a key cous I could put the key in the room and put one key in my pocket then my sisters could’nt get in. I would alsoe want a harp. I feel medeom.

And that’s it for today. If you want to see my very early attempts at novel-writing and maybe squeeze out a guffaw or two, I refer you to this post–it’s a good ‘un.

20 thoughts on “Feeling medeom: pages from my weird little 6-year-old brain

  1. Circe

    I love it, especially “I hate mom today.” It’s so funny to see what kids understand, even at 6 you knew that your feelings were temporary.

    anyway, this is the perfect post for a Tuesday.

    Reply
  2. Vesselina

    oh. my. gosh. this is too precious!

    1) ‘I heard they are cleaning the place’ – I wonder what kinds of things your little mind had conjured up about Spain the first place 😉 Or is this just something you picked up from your Mom & Dad?
    2) you wanted a harp heheh
    3) I wonder when we are 80 and look at the journals we are keeping now – will the experience be similar? In a different way, of course, but you know what I mean?

    Reply
  3. Erica

    Oh. My. Gosh.

    I know I’ve read these before, but they never cease to make me guffaw out loud, regardless of my surroundings. Kiddo, we’ve GOT to get out kiddos journals when they’re little. Ha!

    Reply
  4. giselle

    OMG so funny! Can I just say that I love that you could spell kindergarten but couldn’t spell school? lol

    I want more!!

    Reply
  5. giselle

    Oh and may I suggest that you add how you’re feeling at the end of each post? It really would be helpful to know if you’re feeling good, bad, or medeom on any given day. LOL

    Reply
    1. Jenna

      That would be awesome. Though now my options are no longer limited to ‘good’ ‘bad’ or ‘medeom’–they could include mad adverb/adjective combos like ‘super jazzifrazzed’ or ‘glowingly spastic’ or even ‘morosely fidgety.’
      As far as today . . . I feel GREAT! Probably because I’m about to head in for cup o’ coffee #2.

      Reply
  6. Veronica

    Too, too funny! I’m wondering why you thought it was embarrassing to find out that someone knows the Lord. Do you remember? Oh, how I wish I’d kept my two early journals! I really have no idea what happened to the first, and the second I filled partly and then donated it to my youngest sister to use and she tore out my pages and started over. My earliest one now starts in high school and it’s always so fun to read back on what I wrote and try to imagine the person I was. I hardly recognize her!

    Reply
    1. Jenna

      I was also wondering why the heck I felt embarrassed about finding out someone was a Christian–I honestly have no recollection! And I wasn’t exactly one for great detail in this early journal, as you can maybe tell =).

      Reply
  7. Rox

    Jenna this is so hilarious! I am so glad you found this and decided to share. So funny! You should totally make this an ongoing post! Still giggling.

    Reply
  8. skippymom

    Bless your medeom feelin’ little heart.

    The poem about your sister made me choke on my soda. Gawd that is funny – especially the bait part. You called your sister bait. Well, points for rhyming!

    Too funny!

    Reply
  9. Heidi

    Jenna! How wonderful… just think! One day YOU may have a little one with round glasses and a little fro writing in her diary “Mom is a hardy”. Wouldn’t that be just wonderful???

    Reply
  10. Twinky

    Bwahhahahaha!! I love it!! So, as your “hardy” mom whom you hated from time to time, I concur with your sisters about future little ones journaling…. and you will get to join the ranks of ALL mothers that get “hated” by their children periodically!! =)

    I do agree: more posts please….

    I would also love it if you “published” some of your stories!!

    Reply
  11. Julie M.

    Oh my gosh. That family portrait so brought back the memories. I remember going and getting the Sears special. And all the wonderful hair dos. I think my mom did her hair the exact same as your mom. Love that you wanted a harp! Great post my hedonistic friend. :)

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *